it isn't complicated, its just basic. My Relationship Drowning.
Started by McLaranium 17-7-14 .

iF you want to know the complete horror history thriller by Stephen King just ask for it, I could post it.
This is the most short version.

I think a relationship of 24 months means something. 24 months is the end of the begining, it means (in my opinion) a new start, a new era, a new step in the relationship. Now, 7 years, its so soerious (0o).

23 years of my life I've studied, experienced, experimented, tested, consulted, investigated, read, research, polls, discussions, and there's no more interesting and important thread in my life since 12 years old than the Love and friendship + feelings. *sigh*

my relationship was not excluded,
now today I can see even I see it written and with draws ('cause I've done it),
how our relationship was and how it is right now.

In this road, I've learnt a few things how the mind, feelings, emotions and thoughts interact with behavior and attitude. So "I know why and how the Formula 1 car has the failure".

that's the sad, when you know the why and how, from start and end with detail in deep, when you explain your tesis for a lot of people but only one person rejects that.



Night Angel 17-7-14 2014-07-17 15:36:30

I am sorry to hear that. At the moment I read this thread, I know that it broke your heart much.

Well, I guess we all need to experience such breakups in order to be stronger and learn more. It is not easy to be with someone because you are sharing a lot of things with him/her, and through different things you do together, we know more about the world around you.

Love makes people grow up, if it is really true love. It takes time to heal, and so McL take your time.

McLaranium 17-7-14 2014-07-17 16:49:53

I won't compare, maybe this example is disgusting or confusing:

Imagine your sister is Medical Dietist Nutritional Health Fitness. and you keep on with coke, fries, burguer, pizza, no excercise, smoking....
(0o) how does your sister would feel about you?
even when you agree in somw way with her, the "discussion" grows up and exploits and ya know

ikomi 17-7-14 2014-07-17 17:15:45

Trying to understand the story ... was it some long-standing difference that eventually led to both drifting apart?

Sorry to hear. While initially I thought it a pity after seeing you both together for so long, sometimes it is necessary. Maybe you'll find each other again years later (the relationship needed the time to mellow), or you'll find "the one". Night Angel summed it up very well, so keep yourself active (work or relaxing) and the hurt will lessen over time.

McLaranium 17-7-14 2014-07-17 22:48:09

backstage. inside history.
:
note from editor: almost evry one member relative or blood relatives in the Zaira's family know about her boyfriend (me), except only one: her dad.
When we use the therm "Real Help", we mean excange of ideas and talking to analyze and understand points.


at the begining I received from Zai , real help: opinions, feedback, advices given, trust. so started a relationship based in talk and trust and being confident , I changed a lot, i was starting a new life, and new behavior and attitude. everything was so fine.

Talking + Trust + Explainations + Feedback + Opinions = REAL HELP
(as the HELP I received once)

When you help someone, you talk, say, analyze (together?) , propose, show interest to fix, heal, save, you interact with ideas between, share thought, points of view, share and exchange knowledge in pro to fix and heal. It didn't happen . I did not receive that real help as it was one time at the begining. her silence: "to don't discusse, to don't feed fire, to avoid fighting, to make things go well"
(with silence, tolerance and abnegation? ? ? thats o help and support, !! )
where is the real help We shared once?

drowned in my bad or wrong behavior, thoughts and attitude, the things weren't fatal tragic, without confrontations even I trusted so much in our relationship going so good.

the bomb exploited when this last year I started to say:
"you have grown, you've shown to be an extraordinary daughter, so good student, finished the univ with 3 special awards. You are adult, you have now a job, in some way it means you are rasponsable adult.
I won't accept anymore your dad infringes damage on you, transgress your life, your mind, your rights, the freedom you deserve. did I say "your rights" ?, yes, the right to don't give reasons, explainations and details about your friend, or boyfriend, because you've shown the very sucessful girl you are now."

and so, the fight started.

The good:
a lot of people say to me "talk, exchange thoughts and ideas, fix, propose the good, balance the situation and look you have more good things valuable..."

The bad:
a lot of people say to Zaira: "its good you leave, i support to you, your decision your choice is respectable".

The ugly:
no time to talk, we are in distance, just a few emails, bad phone calls, NO PERSONAL TREATMENT.
how can we talk and understand or interact if we aren't face to face?, online this world sucks a shit.

if Zaira reads this thread,
maybe I will be (again?) the insane, bad, I don't respect privacy . . .

I'm not sad, I'm annoyed, because I know reasons, I include my own mistakes and errors , but I said: more than 20 years like Dr. Heart, and recently a more deep and detailed study of this case, experimentation, comparisons, investigations, researching, consulting, . . . its sad to when you discover the failure, its sad to see how people you consider important in your life is caught in a comma, and you know why and how, but is annoying when you receive a "its my life, " (and 7 years where is the "ours" ? said by Mariana )
its annoying to hear "sorry, i'm not the mature as you expected".

Post edited 17-7-14

ikomi 18-7-14 2014-07-18 15:30:20

Well, from an outsider's view, it's possible that the "help" topics come up again and the person for whatever reasons would rather not talk about them anymore (tired, stressed, etc.) It could also be the person not wanting to upset the status quo. Maybe the person liked the way things were and didn't want to go against the wishes of a family member (seen as asking that person to choose between lover and family).

On the other hand I agree about communication. Often there's no single reason for two people to drift apart, or it could just be the physical distance (e.g. less time to meet in person).

If it helps, you can talk about your oen feelings here if you want and we try to listen. Good advice not guaranteed, but Night Angel does have plenty of it.

Night Angel . 19-7-14
@ plenty of advice; not really so except bricks.

ikomi . 19-7-14
Meant to say while I cannot guarantee good advice, Night Angel does have plenty of good advice to offer.

Then give brick love advice?

McLaranium 18-7-14 2014-07-18 20:14:29

Give an opinion about this (hipotesis - imaginary scene)

I will agree I was wrong and I was the rasponsable of mistakes exploiting the bomb. I will assume (if it applies) all my rasponsability and and I'm guilty.

iF Zaira breaks and has bases and arguments to break and leave it all behind because I'm the villiain evil:

can we say these arguments and reasons to break and finish it are the same reasons why some girl shoud consider and avoid a relationship with me?

i mean
I would like to know iF she has points and lines to expose "Why You Shouldn't start a relationship with Jorge".

ikomi 18-7-14 2014-07-18 23:58:39

I wouldn't put it that way, as though it's a bad thing.

There's the factor that people's values and priorities change over time, so maybe you both started with similar basic principles but experiences change your views and feelings.

McLaranium . 19-7-14
then i changed to became in evil devil poison? come one!, its like a bet or challenge (because i like feed the fire haha) - I would like to know real reasons and points to post: "why you shouldn't start a relationship with Jorge" . maybe I will design a cover book. or post a youtube video about his

ikomi . 19-7-14
How about this ... individuals need not apply if:

- They don't like having socio-political discussions
- They are not curious about the world
- They don't like jokes
- They don't like the colour pink

McLaranium . 19-7-14
haha I got it IKOMInator -
your smart and creative reply , reminds me

McLaranium . 19-7-14
"well played indeed "

ikomi . 19-7-14


On a slightly more sober note, some character traits can be viewed as good or bad depending on how one looks at it, e.g. "stubborn" vs. "principled".

McLaranium 24-7-14 2014-07-24 03:37:37

"if I was not merried, I would have like had a husband like you"
"iF Jorge ask for marriage to my daughter, I would be the first to give the permission"
"you would be a good dad"
"when you got children, you will be a good dad"

those lines were said by different persons, in different times, about me.

Night Angel 24-7-14 2014-07-24 14:31:06

Married*

McL, time to stop dwelling onto the past. No good no good.

McLaranium 29-7-14 2014-07-29 02:08:43

you know I'm religious, I'm christian
(cristiano heterodoxo de los librepensadores gentiles)

its interesting, with some collegues this was discussed, from the religious side.

We've known some church and groups pray together even some alone people pray and meditation to heal the knee, recover health in the arm, for the health of some person in hospital, some other pray for a job, some other pray "to heal the marriage"

why some people pray for heal the marriage?,
some people ask to God for restoration in the couple.

if a daughter fighst and discusses so hard with her parents,
they don't break, iF I fight with my brother I don't break. but if she is by girlfriend I break, I leave, I forget. . . (WTF ! )
of course I don't think so
"if someone is important to you, in your life and you care about your couple, you search for heal, for fix, as you would do it with a son, a daughter or your mom or dad".

it scares me, but I understand it, maybe 'cause I'm christian religious, maybe 'cause I've studies love+friendship since 20 years ago.


just to post something about thread.


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